Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...

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What was missing from my dull Christian life? Something sure seemed to be missing, not completely “there”, or seriously fragmented, that’s certain. But what was it? Where were the short circuits? What was going wrong?

I realized I was missing a crucial piece of the worship puzzle: the attitude of gratitude. Feeling low and not whole as I have been these past weeks since getting out of the hospital, I suspected it was not a physical problem, as in the meaning of something in the literal body. There was no excessive pain, nothing that would make me scurry off to the ER or the doctor. Loss of sleep seemed a normal thing after a traumatic event, but was it the best thing to actually sleep after such a serious happening?

I heard recently that sleeping was not always best after a traumatic event, but isn’t that what people want to do- escape into a soft, restful haven most of the time after something bad happens? Sure the bedroom can be made into such a place, of softness, rest, quiet, darkness, and silence, but living in a large city it is a challenge to truly find places that are really quiet and dark. Twenty-four hour traffic, repsonses from the fire and police departments, and light from buildings makes it difficult to give a living space a restful feeling.

Still there are ways to overcome feelings of sadness, depression and loneliness without using drugs or going to the asylum or to the shrink. I realized that on considering my recent feelings about Christianity, thinking about it as a legal system of rules and regulations and ceremonies versus considering it as a communal gathering, a way of worship and of joining with others, of forgetting self and thinking in what I have come to know as the mission control way.

More on how mission control works in church and in the community!

Divi Logan and ®EDUSHIRTS, Nashville and Chicago. ©2004 – 2012.